A place for Xers to gather; find hope & healing & how to move forward (X NTCC, cult, legalistic church, HOPCC, all are welcome).

Welcome. This is my first post and first attempt at blogging. I have recently started following other blogs that have the same mission - to help others who have left ntcc (New Testament Christian Church) find their voice and find healing. Whether you are an Xer, exploring leaving, wondering why you are in a religion and don't seem to find God, please know you are welcome! If you are one of those still in a cult and wish to challenge, I suppose you're welcome too but you may not like hearing the truth.

I was in the ntcc for just over 13 years. Since leaving, I have had to deal with trying to heal and recover. Those of us who were sucked into the manipulative control of ntcc lost years of our lives, our families’ lives, etc. NTCC teaches if your family isn't saved you leave them behind. They will quote the bible to you in a twisted way to make you believe it is right. They will tell you to leave the unsaved family members by quoting: KJV Luke 9:60 Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God. They will tell you they are dead spiritually - leave them and tell you to only do "God's work".

Let's talk about God's work. God didn't tell us to abandon our family. He didn't tell us to ignore the poor, the sick, the hungry. Because yes, they thumb their noses at the homeless, the unemployed, those in need, etc.
Jesus did tell us to go and preach the kingdom of God but I challenge any one to show me where in the bible it tells you to neglect your family and those around you in the world. In fact, in Matthew 9:10, it says: 
And it came to pass, as Jesus sat at meat in the house, behold, many publicans and sinners came and sat down with him and his disciples.
And in Mark 2:13-17 it says: 
¹³ Once again Jesus went out beside the lake. A large crowd came to him, and he began to teach them. ¹⁴ As he walked along, he saw Levi son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” Jesus told him, and Levi got up and followed him.
¹⁵ While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. ¹⁶ When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?”
^{1 7} On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (I can add more scriptures but these 2 make a point).
So they don't want you to spend time with your unsaved family or friends. Well the bible tells me that God came to save those who are lost. Even Christ ate with the unrighteous when He was here on earth. How else would you reach those who are lost? The ntcc often said we weren't called to have a soup kitchen. We weren't called to play sports. We weren't called to this that and the other. Well Jesus walked seeking those who were lost. And while the leaders in ntcc will preach these things at you, their children are participating in sports. Now, don't get me wrong, NOW I know there is nothing wrong with sports. I enjoy football! GO Niners (ok when the season rolls back around). But the leaders at ntcc are so corrupt and so deceitful. Check out any of the blogs or come back to mine from time to time. I'll share more as time goes on. There is quite a bit out there on these various blogs and I only hope and wish others will stand up and bring more to light so the truth comes out about how this church really is.  

They twist the scripture and brainwash you into believing what they say. When I attended, even when I went to their seminary, any time I read the bible, I could always hear what they said as I read. They tell you repeatedly if you question what they say, it's just the devil and if you give in to those thoughts and leave you're going to hell. 

Because of all the brain washing we didn't get to enjoy family time. Yet the leaders did. You always had to work, work, work. All work is of the Old Testament. Jesus came and offered grace. He didn't want us to do nothing but work. Works will NOT get us into heaven.  When I make friends with sinners I'M NOT going to hell. In fact, over time, I will show them the love in my heart and that my friend is how you win a sinner to Christ. NOT by forcing them to go or condemning them for not going. If I go to a bowling alley and make a new friend and over the course of time they see the love of God in me and come to know him, I did more than what ntcc has done.

Again there is so much to say and I want to blog from the beginning (I suppose, unless that changes) and allow the events of my life to unfold during the course of my life with ntcc. But for now, I will jump to the end. I spent the last few years of my life at ntcc miserable. All I could think was I HAD to keep going to ntcc though my heart knew this wasn't a place of God. I was finally realizing ntcc wasn't all they make their self out to be. I wanted to leave more than anything but the repeated brain washing left me feeling like if I left, I'd be on a one way ticket straight to hell. I went into a deep depression I had spiraled so bad that I honestly felt God allowed me to be born to show if he wanted to create a mistake, I would be it. I wanted to be dead more than anything. I had someone who did some work for my job once a week and she saw me in despair (I'm sure God showed her). She kept encouraging me to attend church she went to. I eventually got to the point all I wanted to do was go no where that had anything to do with God. This is sadly a feeling many people go thru at ntcc.

Eventually I left. After leaving, I went to a counselor. Not knowing anything about the former church (yet) I was diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD. As time would unfold my life, the counselor discovered I had a bad childhood but it was nothing compared to the mental control that comes from ntcc. PTSD is something that is sadly a part of leaving a cult such as ntcc. You struggle with everything you were brainwashed into believing. Fortunately I have been healing and able to move on and press forward. Unfortunately, my three sons aren't even close to being ok from our time there. They say it takes 1,000 'atta boys' to undo 1 bad thing said. After 13 years of being brain washed, one can only wonder how much time it will take to undo the damage done.

The next post I create will start from my beginning, how and why I came to ntcc. Until then; may you have a wonderful, peace filled life. May love abound and grace be upon you.