NTCC makes for bad parenting . . . . .

I recently reunited with a friend; one that I had parted ways with when she was wise enough to leave the cult before I did. I didn't want to but I was hopeful that all was well with her and we'd meet again one day . . . . And we did! But as she and I were sitting down conversing, she said something along the lines of: 'All NTCC parents are bad parents’. I knew what she meant because I was an ntcc parent. You are so brainwashed that you must follow their schedule or you'll go to hell and your family along with you. You don't get to spend enough time with your children. You're so mentally beat down and worn out that you can't give YOU to them. You're kept so poor you can't buy them any thing unless it was $1 day at the "Kook" store. And events for your kids? Forget about it! New shoes, IF you're lucky, mom will save every penny (literally) and buy you a new pair every other year, other wise deal with the cheapies. Prom - never. . . . . . what would the cult think if I let you be a teen? Christmas - why aren't you happy with one little $5 gift? BUT you'll always see the children dressed in their best for church. Yep, you don't want to let anyone know things are hard. And why? Because you'll get lamb basted that you can't manage your money! Really when the husband works making say $12/hour and rent takes up half the check, gas, utilities, insurance (those who have it - I know it's law but it's luxery if you're in ntcc) and if the wife is lucky she gets about $30 a week to feed a family AND make food for fellowships.

I actually did better off when I was single, before I married one of the "Ministers". He lied about his ability to earn a descent living. He worked @ $10/hr. I was making almost double that. I provided for my boys and we went to conference all the time (Well I didn't take them but to 1/3rd) but I went. They were fortunate enough (then) to get a new pair of shoes 1-2 times per year and some new clothes for school. But as soon as I was married, the lies became reality and the problems began financially.

Now there are 2 things I will share that I'm really not proud of and I have a hard time forgiving myself for ever being this way so it's not easy sharing but. . . . .During my first year or so, I had heard over and over and over and over about how kids should behave, how they should act. I was sure since we were a very small group at that time, the pastor was talking about how my boys acted out (normal child acting out but then I started thinking GASP they are so bad). I even went to the pastor for 'counseling' yeah joke - they don't counsel. Anyway I asked him what I should do to correct them. He would reference spare the rod, spoil the child. He even used stories of sometimes you have to whip them into submission. I even recall asking how you know if it really sends the message. I was told something like you'll know because the tears will turn real - something like they give crocodile tears then when they know you mean business they turn real. So I thought ok, that's what I need to do. I took my son to his room one time when he acted out and I spanked and spanked until the tears became real. To this day I hate I ever did that and it was the last time also!

It gets worse though. I told my pastor about it. It was laughed about but really, I think now, why in the world wouldn't he have said woman, you can't do that to your child, that's border line child abuse or really, it is child abuse. He could have reported me to authorities for doing that. As his duty as a "Minister" he should have! Instead, it was laughed off and comments were made, about him learning and I bet he'll remember that every time he sits down and so on (paraphrasing). This is ntcc folks and you can (as MCK would say) ‘bet your thumpin gizzard’ this isn’t the only case of something like this! I heard parents all the time making comments and they weren’t nice. Parents get extremely embarrassed if a child does something because again, they don’t want to get lamb basted! THEY ARE CHILDREN! LET THEM BE KIDS!!

As I said, I didn’t continue on with spanking like that but I did get upset at them if they were ‘out of line’. I’d ground them, send them to their room, make them sit something out, etc. Yes, I know parents all over the world do it but it’s different when your kids are already lacking your time because you’re giving it all to a cult.  So the next thing that really bothered me is when my oldest son graduated 7^th grade. The pastor’s wife kept saying you’ll be able to make it to church still after wards. I sat there at a first graduation of any of my boys more worried about why are they running behind? Why is this taking so long? I’m going to miss if they don’t hurry up, what will I tell them? RIDICULOUS! But this is all part of the brainwashing. . . . . . controlling your every thought. We didn’t make it to service that night. I did stay and finally concluded you know what, whatever. It’s my son’s graduation and so be it.

In conclusion, I’ve apologized to my boys over and over. I finally have gotten to the point where they forgive me now I have to forgive myself, and I have. That is why the guilt has turned to I have to help someone. We are here to share our stories and other’s stories in hopes to help. If someone reads any of these blogs and says yep, been there done that, there is help. There is hope. Reach out to one of us. We care! God cares! Your children might not get any better if you don’t leave, get healing and confess your brainwashed ways as wrong. My oldest son recently gave his life to Christ. He was the boy in both of these stories. He has seen a genuine change and healing in my life. Your children can too. God bless you and may you open your heart to hear the truth from God.