NTCC makes for bad parenting . . . . .

I recently reunited with a friend; one that I had parted ways with when she was wise enough to leave the cult before I did. I didn't want to but I was hopeful that all was well with her and we'd meet again one day . . . . And we did! But as she and I were sitting down conversing, she said something along the lines of: 'All NTCC parents are bad parents’. I knew what she meant because I was an ntcc parent. You are so brainwashed that you must follow their schedule or you'll go to hell and your family along with you. You don't get to spend enough time with your children. You're so mentally beat down and worn out that you can't give YOU to them. You're kept so poor you can't buy them any thing unless it was $1 day at the "Kook" store. And events for your kids? Forget about it! New shoes, IF you're lucky, mom will save every penny (literally) and buy you a new pair every other year, other wise deal with the cheapies. Prom - never. . . . . . what would the cult think if I let you be a teen? Christmas - why aren't you happy with one little $5 gift? BUT you'll always see the children dressed in their best for church. Yep, you don't want to let anyone know things are hard. And why? Because you'll get lamb basted that you can't manage your money! Really when the husband works making say $12/hour and rent takes up half the check, gas, utilities, insurance (those who have it - I know it's law but it's luxery if you're in ntcc) and if the wife is lucky she gets about $30 a week to feed a family AND make food for fellowships.

I actually did better off when I was single, before I married one of the "Ministers". He lied about his ability to earn a descent living. He worked @ $10/hr. I was making almost double that. I provided for my boys and we went to conference all the time (Well I didn't take them but to 1/3rd) but I went. They were fortunate enough (then) to get a new pair of shoes 1-2 times per year and some new clothes for school. But as soon as I was married, the lies became reality and the problems began financially.

Now there are 2 things I will share that I'm really not proud of and I have a hard time forgiving myself for ever being this way so it's not easy sharing but. . . . .During my first year or so, I had heard over and over and over and over about how kids should behave, how they should act. I was sure since we were a very small group at that time, the pastor was talking about how my boys acted out (normal child acting out but then I started thinking GASP they are so bad). I even went to the pastor for 'counseling' yeah joke - they don't counsel. Anyway I asked him what I should do to correct them. He would reference spare the rod, spoil the child. He even used stories of sometimes you have to whip them into submission. I even recall asking how you know if it really sends the message. I was told something like you'll know because the tears will turn real - something like they give crocodile tears then when they know you mean business they turn real. So I thought ok, that's what I need to do. I took my son to his room one time when he acted out and I spanked and spanked until the tears became real. To this day I hate I ever did that and it was the last time also!

It gets worse though. I told my pastor about it. It was laughed about but really, I think now, why in the world wouldn't he have said woman, you can't do that to your child, that's border line child abuse or really, it is child abuse. He could have reported me to authorities for doing that. As his duty as a "Minister" he should have! Instead, it was laughed off and comments were made, about him learning and I bet he'll remember that every time he sits down and so on (paraphrasing). This is ntcc folks and you can (as MCK would say) ‘bet your thumpin gizzard’ this isn’t the only case of something like this! I heard parents all the time making comments and they weren’t nice. Parents get extremely embarrassed if a child does something because again, they don’t want to get lamb basted! THEY ARE CHILDREN! LET THEM BE KIDS!!

As I said, I didn’t continue on with spanking like that but I did get upset at them if they were ‘out of line’. I’d ground them, send them to their room, make them sit something out, etc. Yes, I know parents all over the world do it but it’s different when your kids are already lacking your time because you’re giving it all to a cult.  So the next thing that really bothered me is when my oldest son graduated 7^th grade. The pastor’s wife kept saying you’ll be able to make it to church still after wards. I sat there at a first graduation of any of my boys more worried about why are they running behind? Why is this taking so long? I’m going to miss if they don’t hurry up, what will I tell them? RIDICULOUS! But this is all part of the brainwashing. . . . . . controlling your every thought. We didn’t make it to service that night. I did stay and finally concluded you know what, whatever. It’s my son’s graduation and so be it.

In conclusion, I’ve apologized to my boys over and over. I finally have gotten to the point where they forgive me now I have to forgive myself, and I have. That is why the guilt has turned to I have to help someone. We are here to share our stories and other’s stories in hopes to help. If someone reads any of these blogs and says yep, been there done that, there is help. There is hope. Reach out to one of us. We care! God cares! Your children might not get any better if you don’t leave, get healing and confess your brainwashed ways as wrong. My oldest son recently gave his life to Christ. He was the boy in both of these stories. He has seen a genuine change and healing in my life. Your children can too. God bless you and may you open your heart to hear the truth from God.

Can you get to heaven on a lie?

This isn't my typical post BUT, apparently I too struck a chord with you Mr ntcc. How about you, Mr Kekel, did I hit a nerve? It's amazing how you tell people lies and create rumors over those that have left. Now I have heard from several people the lies and rumors. You know it takes a mighty small man to do that. Mr Kekel you're not the only one. Mr ntcc - that's all of you who do it. So Mr ntcc folk, what's the fear? You know why we're fighting doncha? We want to see your lying scams end.

I had another post I was going to work on about bad parenting in ntcc (so don't worry I will still do it) but you messed with my family. I don't care what you say about me Mr Kekel, I don't! But when you say things that end up affecting my boys - you're going to mess with the mama bear. One of my sons had a friend who is still in your cult. This son of mine can careless about you and your cult. He doesn't think about you or that forsaken place and he doesn't tell anyone to go or not. But you told this persons family to have nothing to do with us and now this friend won't speak to him. They may be scared, but I'm not. You have my number and my email call me, unless you're too scared. I dare you! Invite me to meet you somewhere with your tow alongs, I don't care. Say something TO ME not just about me. Wait, but you're not reading this blog right - you don't read this "garbage" do you? So why would you go say things about those of us who blog about ntcc? HMMMM wouldn't be because you're a lying hypocrite would it?

When I say something, it is facts. What have you got on me? ALL I ever did when I was in your cult was act like a dumb faithful puppy. NOW that God has given me healing and restored my sight, I share the TRUTH of what I know. THE TRUTH and in public. If you had ANY truth on me that wasn't of good report about me I DARE you to post it publically! I can say that AND I can go to sleep tonight knowing I have nothing to hide. How does it feel to have skeletons chasing you? I'm just saying.

I really hadn't planned this at all but confrence time brought you pulling out your lies again. So many lies you have made up about so many people. Why don't you man up mr lies and face us like a real man would. If not, why don't you continue "Not reading these blogs" and leave us alone. We're just here sharing the facts. You've encouraged me to keep going. And for that, I thank you! We don't blog lies, we blog the truth so others will find healing and understanding to their feelings.   

Is it a church? How do they keep you??

If you are currently in NTCC I ask and pray that you will read this whole article. If you get agitated, disagree, get angry, whatever, PLEASE read it all. In fact, before you do, I encourage you to pray and ask God to help you to see if any of this resignates with you. Ask God to show you any truth that may come from this. If you feel doubt while you're reading, don't dismiss it. Pray and ask God to reveal the truth to you.

Recently I shared something with someone and I told them about sensory overload. I saw something on the movie Zero Dark Thirty in which I told my son about sensory overload. That phrase was really nagging at me. I began to think about how teaching and brainwashing came about from ntcc to the degree you actually begin to 2nd guess yourself and everything you know, knew, believe, and believed. I researched brainwashing, sensory overload, cults, etc. I found a lot of information (and if you look in the various blogs here this isn't a new topic). But I found this page to be straight almost a replay of many things from ntcc. The person who wrote it is not from ntcc. His name is "Raphael" and the sites page is: http://raphaelonline.com/cults.htm. He gave me permission to use his information.  I have removed a point or two and at the end of each point I entered (Kat says: then my point ~ ok maybe a little sacrasim too but you'll get my point) as such. I pray this helps many who read!

1. Immediate environment control

- This is maintained and expressed in these ways: group only activities, isolation from other people, psychological pressure, geographical distance or unavailability of transportation, and various forms of pressure.  These pressures include, peer pressure from the members, or even physical abuse.  This form of control is achieved by immersing a person in a social environment where, in order to function, he must shed his old identity and adhere to the new identity desired by the group.  In other words, a radical transformation begins to take place within the person, from an outsider to a member of the cult. (Kat says: Ever felt pressured or isolated? I have. Please keep reading)

2. "Sacred science" - This is used by all cults, since in our age something must be scientific to have a substantial effect on people.  This refers to the fact that if the ideas of the group have worked for so many other people, it has become "science".  This is the most important reason for not questioning it, if the "science" works for others, but not you, then something is wrong with you, not the science or its application.  The cult can prove their science works by showing the multiple successful examples, so you need to work harder if the "science" is to work for you too.  This is also called the "blame the victim" mentality.  "No wonder it didn't work for you, you didn't do exactly as you were taught.  It's all your fault."  It's not the person's fault at all, but the inherent flaws of the system of the cult itself. (Kat says:  Yep, must be something wrong with you if you can’t reach souls. Please, keep reading)

3. Group language - This refers to the idea that a group replaces common language with their own internal-group language.  This new terminology also serves to replace complex thoughts and ideas with only a simple phrase.  In other cases, a whole new list of terms and phrases is required learning for the new person to begin to understand the conversations of others in the cult.  The group's clichés, or loaded language, also put up an invisible wall between believers and outsiders.  This wall further separates the group's members from the rest of society.  In reality, by incorporating the loaded language, they learn how not to think, or learn to think in narrow-minded terms. (Kat says: ‘That must be the devil’ telling you that you get exactly what this point means. Please, keep reading)

4. Doctrine over person - This refers to the internalized message that one must find the truth of the dogma and subject one's own experience to that "truth".  This is related to "sacred science" since a person shapes his own experiences around the "science" of the group.  Eventually, a person's entire emotional state is shaped around the cult's "science".  From there, the person learns to control his emotions so they comply with the emotions of the other people in the group.  Before long, a member need not think for himself because the doctrine does the thinking for him.  A person becomes happy only when he is with other members. (Kat says: Acting like someone or the way someone wants – sound familiar? Please, keep reading)

   

5. A unique form of salvation - This refers to the idea that if you are part of the cult, you are somehow spiritually better than everyone else in society, you have "seen the truth" or "seen the light".  Conversely, if you are not part of the cult, you "have not been shown the way" or "have not seen the light".  Group members approach people with the intent to show them that their group's way is the only way for people to "be saved". Saved from what depends on the specific group's goals, but usually refers to the cult's perceived evils of society.  (Kat says: Ok replace the word “cult” with the word “church” it’s still the same thing. You know we were taught we are ‘better’ than those not a part of ntcc. You know you look your nose down to them (or did if you’re an Xer). You know when someone leaves you consider them sinners. RWDavis says, “I’m not saying we’re the only church going to heaven BUT if others were, why would GAWD have called me to start this church? Please, keep reading!)

6. Love bombing - This is the act of over-affection by the people already in the cult for a newcomer, usually occurring in the early meetings.  This can mean a lot of complements, attention, and physical contact, handshaking, hugging, or pats on the back for anyone who is new.  The attention serves as a bond for the new person, he thinks, "This place isn't so bad, everyone here likes me."  The new person comes to appreciate this affection and attention, which he may or may not be receiving elsewhere.  Under the guise of "being friendly" or "being happy", this close physical contact serves to quickly draw the new person into the group.    New people don't realize the members are taught to suppress any negative feelings they have about the group and always show a continually smiling, "happy" face, especially when new people are present.  (Kat says: Yep, it was nice . . . . at first, wasn’t it? Please, keep reading!)

7. Mental confusion - This is what happens to a person when he accepts multiple, conflicting information at the same time.  Rather than having to deal with conflicting thoughts, a person almost "separates" himself from reality.  He starts to deny anything is wrong and continues to tell people, "Everything is fine.  Just wait until I get there.  Then you'll see I was right."    In reality, this leads to both a further detachment from reality and a further attachment to the cult's teachings.  And if a person were to question the conflicting information presented to him, he would probably be told, "Your question means you don't understand.  Continue learning and then it will become clear."  This "separation" occurs at about the same time that a person starts to lose his critical and logical thinking.      Adding the two, confusion and the loss of logical critical thinking, is a dangerous combination and what is commonly known as "brain-washing".  For example, if a person was told by the cult's leaders, "For you to be successful, you must believe that 2 + 2 = 5."  From then on, the person will think, "I'm not successful yet, I guess I don't fully believe that 2 and 2 is 5."  Rather than realizing he is denying the reality of the facts, a person tells himself to believe the "new reality" of the cult.  Before long, it will be he who is arguing to other people, that 2 and 2 really does equal 5.  And if a person is in this belief system long enough, leaving the group may require deprogramming to get a person out of these beliefs and back into reality.  (Kat says: People would ask me all the time, you’re not one of those Jim Jones’ are you? NOPE I’d say. Hmmm sure made it easier to believe nothing was wrong. So how does 2+2=5? Finally get tired, give up and just accept it, if you don’t that’s the devil holding you back. Anything resounding true yet? Yes or no, please, keep reading, please make it to the bottom!)

8. Charismatic leadership - This refers to the idea that the leadership of the cult has special powers or knowledge that the rest of the group does not have, or that the group wants to attain.  The leadership has the ability to issue orders that are followed by the cult without a second thought.  This is related to "sacred science", if the leaders have done something, the followers should do it as well and expect the same results.  The leaders can also control a member's emotions by teaching that "Loyalty and devotion are the most highly respected qualities of all."  To question the leadership is to be disloyal.  (Kat says: Yep, if it worked for ME your leader and it isn’t working for you, there’s something wrong with you. Is it? Or is God trying to help you see? Please, keep reading)

9. Deception - In a cult, deception can take on many forms, there can be lying about the organization's affiliation with other groups, lying about the size of the group, lying about the success in the group, or lying about group practices.  There can also be deception about what the end results of the group really are.      Sometimes, the deception is in the form of a hidden agenda by the leadership, an agenda to make money for themselves, sometimes at the expense of the group.  Because the cult is offering their own form of salvation, the deception is rationalized because the end goal justifies whatever means are necessary to achieve that goal.  As long as the people in the cult believe that what they are doing is "right" and "just" many of them think nothing of lying, stealing, cheating, even murdering.  (Kat says: Ok hold up a minute? Did this just say “To make money for themselves?” NO WAY they live in mansions because God has blessed them. Is that so? Where’s the truth about their books? Why won’t they show you? Where’s the truth about their #’s? When they take a big offering for a mission’s field they only send so much over – where does the rest go? Ok I’m not debating here. Please, keep reading!)

10. Suppression of thinking for oneself - I refer to the idea that a person's ability to critically analyze information becomes impaired or even non-existent.  Under the guise of "you are new, so you can't handle all the information at once," a new person is taught not to question the procedures.  After all, if a person wants to succeed in the group, he can't be questioning it.  As time progresses, the thinking becomes, "Stop worrying about it.  It'll all work out, you'll see.  You'll learn everything eventually."  And in order to keep new people from thinking too critically, older group members learn to answer questions with "non-answers".  If a controversial issue is raised, the older member may say, "You know, I used to think like that, but then I got the facts straight." or even, "How can you think that way?  I thought you were more intelligent than that."  Before long, a person practically stops thinking altogether.  (Kat says: OMG I lived this! I never got an answer, always a “non-answer”. I was told I was new and I didn't get it yet but I would (and oh how I do get it now!). As I ‘matured’ I’d end up telling others that too. I AM SO SORRY! I WAS wrong!! Please, keep reading – you’re almost to the end)

11. Discrediting outside information - This causes cult members not to listen to unbiased or "negative" information because those sources are "wrong".  Most of the time, the only reason these sources are "wrong" is because they are not promoting the group-accepted view of the world.  If you deny a person the information he requires to make sound judgments, he will be incapable of doing so.  And if you control the information someone receives, you restrict his free ability to think for himself.  In turn, this further places a person under the control of the cult's leaders.  Discrediting a source of information is usually easier than trying to debate the truth of the issue.  Why discuss the issue when the entire source is wrong?  The cult now has complete information control.  (Kat says: Can’t argue! Please, keep reading)

12. The loss of independent judgment - This refers to the idea that a person becomes virtually dependent on another person to make a decision for him.  Over time, a person has one of the cult's leaders make all his decisions for him.  This may eventually encompass a person's entire life, or at least all of their major life decisions.  A person's transfer of judgment is closely related to a person's loss of critical thinking abilities. (Kat says: We know how true this is, it’s like a game of mother may I? Instead it’s Davis May I. Please, keep reading – just 2 more)

13. Fear of leaving - In most cults, members are quickly taught that there will be serious repercussions if they were to leave.  When negative images about leaving the group are combined with suppressed logical critical thinking, guilt and fear is created in the member's mind.  They start to think, "I don't want that to happen to me.  I can't quit."  In fact, today's cults know how to effectively implant vivid negative images deep within members' subconscious minds, making it impossible for the member to even conceive of ever being happy and successful outside of the group.  Unknown to the members in the cult, this fear is completely irrational, no disasters will happen if the member were to leave the group.  (Kat says: Yep, when people would leave and people would say things about them, I’d say I’ll never leave, be it the will of God, but it was His will. I was horrified! I will say more after the last point so please, keep reading)

14. Sleep deprivation and fatigue - This occurs when activities relating to the cult begin to replace normal sleep and rest time.  Disorientation and sensory overload may occur at about the same time, when either too much information or too many sights and sounds overload a person.  Put a person into a situation where he is fatigued and his senses are overloaded with non-coherent information and the mind will go numb as a protective mechanism.  It gets confused and overwhelmed, and logical faculties no longer work properly.  This is what renders a person more susceptible and less critical to the information being received.  (Kat says: do I need to remind you of the schedule they have you on? Do you ever get to sleep? Are they killing you? Is it all really for the work of the Lord or to keep control over you? Is it to keep you working to bring more people in to help maintain their finances? Thank you for reading this! Please pray again and ask God to show you how much of what you read is true!)

When I left ntcc I was going thru a lot. In fact, I felt God thought I was nothing more than an example of a mistake and that God only allowed me to be born to show if he really wanted to make mistakes I was an example. YES I would tell myself that often. No one cared when I quit running the puppet game. I wanted a time of seperation from my puppet husband and instead he up and moved out and left me. I was treated like trash. It's ok, I already forgive him. That's what God teaches us to do - and if you're heart is right with God, you can do that.

I got healing and spiritually and mentally I'm better now than I ever was. But before leaving ntcc I drug myself to church daily out of fear if I didn't go, I'd be on my way to hell. Finally I concluded well, if I'm so wrong and everyone ignores me I must be of the devil so if I am going to die and go to hell anyway, why do it coming here, getting treated like trash, ignored, snub nosed, etc. If I was going to go to hell, I might as well not waist my time. 

I'm praying God "Washes your window clean". A friend shared that with me the other day when she said it was like God washed hers clean. I pray when you can see the truth that you will heal and realize there is no shame in leaving. I'm here to support you, pray for you, encourage you! You can email me any time at mommakat01@yahoo.com if you need encouragement or have questions.

Raphael - THANK YOU for the information and permission!